My staff and I will be taking 10 days off. We hope we’re not letting you, who rely on us for rarely factual news, down.
We ask you to understand that we need this rest. Hating things 24/7 and trying to get America back to the 50’s where tolerance was a dirty word, is an exhausting task. It’s far more exhausting than being concerned about and showing kindness to others.
In order to reinvigorate our depleted proclivities for paranoia and venomous disdain, we will leave for Wyoming and “The Dick Cheney Retreat for Bile Rejuvenation.” We choose this retreat not only for its commitment to right wing extremism but also because it doesn’t serve vegetables.
The staff is looking forward to staying in rooms that feature paintings of the men Dick Cheney has shot in the face. I will be in a luxury suite that features pictures of the women he’s shot in the face.
Do not forget to get your paranoia, fear and loathing on each and every day. Stay close minded! Stay hateful!
Your Editor – Ken Hecht (running low on malevolence)