Donald Trump rewarded us, “The Left Wing Gazette,” with an up-close and impersonal interview. We’ve become a Trump favorite because we, a non-existent newspaper, covered, in depth the Bowling Green massacre that never took place.
We asked the President if he wasn’t getting tired of Kellyanne Conway making both of them look foolish.
Trump responded defensively, ‘Look, dammit, I don’t need her help to make me look foolish. I do a pretty damn good job of that on my own. And if you’d like an example, just ask me.
TLWG: That’s not necessary, sir. We’ve seen your cabinet picks.
Trump: Right. Man, wasn’t Betsy DeVos the cherry on top of the proverbial turd pile?
TLWG: She definitely was… Would you care to comment on the rumor circulating about a burgeoning White House romance between Kellyanne and Steve Bannon?
Trump: Well, I have seen them making goo-goo eyes at each other and she looks at him lovingly when she combs the lice out of his beard.
TLWG: Do you think they’re a good match?
Trump: I do. They have many things in common, like their taste in movies, and also, they both have rabies… I know they’re physically compatible because both have had vast sexual experience with unwilling partners.
Trump began to muse, “You know, if they get married, I’m going to honor them by making herpes the new official virus of the White House.”
TLWG: What was the previous official White House virus?
Trump: Dick Cheney.
TLWG: Do you think they’re practicing safe sex?
Trump: I hope so. I always do. In fact I’m wearing a condom now. And it’s practically new.