Gorka is not only the sound Donald Trump makes repeatedly after eating, it is the name of the President’s former venom deputy, Sebastian Gorka.
An ally of Steve Bannon, Gorka was thrown out of the White House on Friday. “The Gork,” as he’s affectionately called when he hosts Nazi youth conventions, claimed to have resigned because of the political trend of occasionally listening to the two people in the White House who aren’t certifiably crazy. Both work in the cafeteria.
An unattributed press release said Gorka was fired. Many believe that Trump is the source of the statement because of its phrasing: “Sebastian Gorka is and having to advise when I especially need things of information that definitely carouse lacking marbles and he told to me a lot and often. Girls big don’t cry.”
Gorka had hoped to move into his BFF Steve Bannon’s office, but a Hazmat team is expected to be decontaminating it until Thanksgiving. Sadly, two members of the Hazmat team lost their lives when Bannon’s supply of Clearasil exploded, covering the entire office.
The silver lining in that cloud is that the medication cleared up the pimples on Bannon’s portrait.
Gorka’s position hasn’t been filled yet, but Kellyanne Conway is leading an intensive search for someone who can catch flies with his tongue. Ann Coulter was believed to be the frontrunner until Joe Arpaio was pardoned.
It has been reported by the well respected periodical “Political Slob Monthly” that Gorka may join Steve Bannon at Breitbart News. They stated that the only thing holding the deal up is that the Breitbart offices will need to be enlarged in order to hold that much hate.
Breitbart is consulting with a construction industry leader, KKK Builders Inc. The company is noted for its quality work. President Trump recently gave them an award for their charitable efforts that include supplying needy white supremacist children with Christmas nooses.
If Gorka is not able to make a deal with Breitbart, he is expected to write a book about his time in the White House and call it “A Confederacy of Dunces Redux.”