Last week, Donald Trump continuing his “Hate is Great Tour,” went to Ohio to show off his latest letter of commendation from Satan. Addressed to, “America’s Dictator Wannabe,” it lauded Trump for being the greatest “failed human experiment” in history since Hitler. The President’s pride swelled as he pictured himself in jackboots, wearing an armband and with a short black mustache while giving orders to invade Poland – which he thinks is next to Brazil.
Trump’s latest honor was achieved by tearing immigrant families apart and traumatizing children who are guilty of the heinous crime of being born with brown skin.
As a reward, the Devil assured Trump that he will, prior to Trump own arrival in hell, furnish him with an endless supply of idiots stupid enough to believe that he has a clue as to what working people’s lives are like, let alone give a rat’s ass about them.
Lucifer also guaranteed a never-ending stream of racist morons to attend his pathetic ego boosting-rallies, who will applaud his disassociated ramblings and continually praise his acts of Presidential cruelty.
Trump told the room that Satan greatly appreciates the way many of them have prostituted Jesus’ teachings to fit their hate-mongering. To accommodate these bigots as he awaits their arrival, he’s enlarging the Strom Thurmond wing of hell.
The applause was deafening.
The President then told everyone, “It’s the Democrats’ fault that Satan has gotten a bad rap for so long. The Devil is an inspiration to all people without morals or a conscience. I don’t like to brag, but that includes my entire family and everyone working in the White House, most especially Stephen Miller who is the world’s leading self-hating Jew.”
The intellectually-limited crowd began jumping around wildly while chanting, “Down with matzoh.”
Prior to introducing Ted Nugent and his “Musical Hate Band, the President reminded everyone that “America’s bigots and racists are badly misunderstood,” Adding, “Like me, some of them know that slavery can be a bad thing outside of agricultural states.”