Donald Trump was heard screaming during last Sunday’s psychotic Tweet-fest. His fury cooled on Monday when he learned that he had again won “Satan’s Employee of the Month” award.
Trump, wanting to extend his reign of terror for an additional four years and knowing that he’s down in the polls with women except for those who molt, called a policy meeting dedicated to conning female voters into believing that the Republican Party gives a rat’s ass about them.
He thought it might be a good idea to include a woman, especially one with laryngitis, in the group. When Stephen Miller caught wind of this he stopped playing with his Klaus and Barbie dolls and raced to the Oval Office. He implored Trump, “No women” and reminded his boss that Hitler never took advice from a woman.
Trump went with his globe-sized gut and decided to invite Tennessee Congresswoman Marcia Blackburn. He admires her for her indifference to the poor and disenfranchised as well as her unrelenting dedication to bringing back slavery.
Politicians and others who are known to care about women’s rights, like Mitch McConnell, Mike Pence, the late Strom Thurmond and Sean Hannity were invited.
Trump opened by bringing up the issue of equal pay for equal work.
Hannity flew into a rage and shouted, “Women never do equal work because they spend half the day menstruating. And if they’re not menstruating, then they’re ovulating.”
Marcia Blackburn: Neither of those affects your work, Sean. I know because I menstruate.
McConnell: “On purpose?”
Blackburn: No, but my point is that we can find better ways to keep the weaker sex down.
Pence, turning red, shouted, “Blasphemy. A woman should never say “s-e-x.”
Trump: Shut it you dork… Now what other women’s issues are there to talk about?
Stephen Miller: There aren’t any.
Trump: Okay everybody, good meeting.