SOCIAL MEDIA SUMMIT
Donald Trump hosted a “social media summit” at the White House last Thursday. Dozens of right-wing conspiracy theorists and internet bottom feeders, many off their meds, attended.
When the right-wingers entered they were given complimentary Donald Trump autographed brooms to add to the ones already occupying their tight Republican asses. They were appreciative, but many complained that the brooms didn’t have enough splinters. They immediately blamed Obama.
The throng was delighted to discover entertainment had been planned for them in the form of a swimsuit competition. When their votes were in, the winner was Sarah Sanders. She’d gotten just one vote more than Mitch McConnell. Some believed McConnell would have won if he hadn’t tripped over his chins. Sanders, always her gracious self, accepted her award and thanked the makers of Spandex.
When the attendees were all settled on or under their seats, Kellyanne Conway demonstrated the correct way to pucker before kissing Trump’s rear end. “Rear end” is, of course, a misnomer because his rear doesn’t ever actually end.
Trump entered to thunderous applause and immediately bragged to the gathered that he’d just come up with his 2020 campaign slogan: “Slavery, what is it good for? Lots.”
He then began to whine about the many “fake news” plots against him and told the twisted bloggers and podcasters that they were his mainline of defense against the truth. When he added, “The crap you think of is unbelievable,” they stood and cheered. One even called back, “The crap you marry is unbelievable, too.” Trump responded, “Thank you for noticing.”
Trump acknowledged well-known bigot Sebastian Gorka. He stood and bemoaned the fact that the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team is out to destroy all the goodness and decency in America.
Trump piped up, “I don’t need those broads’ help. I’m just one election away from doing that myself.”