Noted Washington D.C. dermatologist Dr. Michael Gelman had a full schedule of politicians set for the day. His nurse, the shapely Harvina Slavin, entered the exam room and said, “I think there’s a German U-boat commander in the waiting room. He keeps shouting, “Torpedoes los. Should I send him in?”
Dr. Gelman: Does he have insurance?
Gelman: Of course send him in.
Presidential advisor Stephen Miller entered the room. It was obvious that something was very wrong with his lips. Dr. Gelman got out his puckerometer and examined Miller closely.
Gelman: Your lips are covered with ass-flakes. Have you been kissing a lot of asses recently?
Miller: Just one. President Trump’s.
Gelman: Well, every time you kiss that ass, it’s times four. Listen, Mr. Miller, ass-flakes, also known as Brown Noser’s Syndrome, can shorten one’s life considerably.
From just outside the examining room’s door came a loud, “Yay” from nurse Slavin.
Miller: Is there a cream or a salve for it?
Gelman: Unfortunately there’s not. I’m sorry to say that the best thing medicine has to offer to remove ass-flakes is a leaf blower. I can refer you to a gardener.
Miller: As long as it’s not a Mexican.
Gelman: Funny. Kellyanne Conway was in with her ass-flakes yesterday and said the same thing.
Dr. Gelman made a note on his chart, “Bigot putz.”
Dr. Gelman: Let me give you a full examination. Please, take off your clothes.
Miller did, and Dr. Gelman looked at him a bit startled, “Did you know you don’t have any balls?”
Miller: Of course I know. I’m a Republican. That’s why we have guns.
When the doctor finished his exam he told Miller, “Well, except for having no testicles and your penis being more rumor that an actual appendage, you’re okay. Just make sure you take care of yourself.”
Miller replied, “I am. I see the proctologist next.”
Nurse Harvina entered and told Dr. Gelman, “Your next patient has the exact same lip problem.”
Dr. Gelman: Right. Send Attorney General Barr in.