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TRUMP’S PHYSICAL

TRUMPS PHYSICAL This past Friday, Donald Trump received his second annual physical. It was performed by Dr. Sean Conley who met the President in the military’s Bethesda Naval Hospital’s William Howard Taft examination room. Conley’s nurse, Stella Baker, was chosen because she’s the leader of the “Society for Baboons in Politics” movement, and said she’d … Read more

STATE OF HIS UNION

STATE OF HIS UNION It should be noted that the person most deserving of a shout-out from America is Marvin Mack, America’s leading elephant reamer, who, used his own shovel and cleaned up the mess behind the podium after Trump’s State of the Union speech. Basking in the glow of the speech, Donald Trump went … Read more

CURTAINS FOR TRUMP

CURTAINS FOR TRUMP Donald Trump asked Mike Pence to join him for a secret meeting with Nancy Pelosi the following day. Pence balked at the idea, saying, “I really don’t want to, sir. She’s scary. Did you know her footprint’s still on your rear-end?” Trump ignored the remark, instead responding, “Don’t be scared. I’ll have … Read more