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HAND GRENADE

HAND GRENADE John Bolton, who until recently served as America’s National Security Advisor, and a man who never visited a country he didn’t want to bomb, has recently confirmed the nation’s long-held belief that Rudy Giuliani is a hand grenade in the underpants of America. Giuliani was an easy hire for Donald Trump, as he … Read more

LOBOTOMY ANYONE

LOBOTOMY ANYONE Constant talk of impeachment now has Donald Trump really stressed. He told aides that he felt the walls were closing in on him, but they allayed his fears when they informed him that he’s gained so much weight that actually, he’s closing in on the walls. His aides brought in psychiatrist Dr. Harvey … Read more

DON and NANCY

DON and NANCY John Bolton’s blood was still drying on the carpet as I sat in my, that’s right, “my” Oval Office, rearranging index cards in hopes of keeping track of my lies. Fifty thousand cards and counting. I hadn’t tweeted in over twenty minutes and was jonesing to, badly. If I don’t tweet, how … Read more