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“TORTURE WORKS”

As all right wing candidates must do, Donald Trump strove to polish his Neanderthal bona fides by defending water boarding, saying, “Torture works.” Adding, “I’ll go further than water boarding. I’ll endorse Fresca boarding and in the case of our worst enemies, those with the longest beards and worst skin, I’ll order Flint Michigan water … Read more

TOP 1% UNDER ATTACK

Our wonderful and vaguely qualified right wing candidates must now push to replace all judges who do not realize that the wealthy must receive a far more cuddly justice than the other 99%. The Couch family of Texas has just learned that Ethan, their prize teenager, who killed four people while driving drunk, will now … Read more

GLENN BECK CHANNELS GOD

Glen Beck called, asking if he could sit down and talk with us talk about Antonin Scalia’s passing. We hid the sharp objects in our office and then invited the former Fox News host in. Beck said that God had protected Scalia for 79 years from Satan who was not only constantly trying to kill … Read more