THE EASTER DUMMY
Last Monday, Donald Trump hosted the annual White House Easter egg roll. He spoke with the children long enough to distract them while Don Jr., Eric and Ivanka stole all the chocolate eggs.
Jared Kushner was not allowed to attend because he wanted to dress as the Easter matzoh.
Prior to the event, Trump’s aides brought in two revered Christian leaders to explain the meaning of Easter to him.
In attendance were three-hundred-year-old Pat Robertson and his caregiver. Billy Graham’s son, Franklin, was also there. Franklin has been crisscrossing the country on “Haters for Christ” crusade.
Trump entered and Graham asked if he knew what Easter celebrated. Trump replied, “It celebrates the Bunny of Death bypassing bunny houses and not stealing their carrots.
Graham: No sir. It celebrates the day that Christ rose from the grave.
Trump: Christ rose from the grave… You’re shitting me, right?
Graham: No, Mr. President, it’s true. Look at this picture.
Trump: It looks like a stick figure drawing of Stephen Miller crawling out of a grave again.
Trump: Right. We all need sex, don’t we?
Pat Robertson, who was being fed, spit food from his mouth as he shrieked, “It’s the gays’ fault. Damn the gays.” His caretaker spoke to him, “Here Reverend, let me clean the lima bean soup off your face.”
Robertson: Lima bean soup isn’t gay, is it?
Graham: No, Pat. That’s chicken noodle soup.
Robertson: Good. I don’t want any gayness in me… at least until I have to redecorate my home.
Graham: Mr. President, I’m sure you’re aware that on Easter, little girls put on white dresses.
Trump: Ivanka does that for me. Then we go into the closet and play our special game.
Graham: Mr. Trump, Easter is not about incest. Incest is wrong.
Trump: Maybe, but incest is better than no cest at all.
Robertson shouted, “Damn the transgenders.”
Trump: I think I’ve got this Easter thing, Reverend Graham.
He got up and headed to the door while chuckling… “Risen from the grave. Yeah, right.”