In honor of Donald Trump’s stellar Presidency, the “Nobel Prize” committee has added a prestigious new category this year, the “Nobel Putz Prize.”
South Korean President Moon Jae-in, this weekend, said, that the leader of the free world can with the “Nobel Peace Prize.” Clearly, Moon Jae-in has his tongue so far up Trump’s ass that he can taste his food.
The fact that North Korea’s Kim-Jong-Un is a murderous psychopath is not the only reason that peace has been so hard to come by on the Korean Peninsula. President Moon has long been jealous of Kim-Jong-Un because Un has more hyphens in his name than Moon Jae-in does. The jealousy probably owes to the old Korean saying, “He who dies with the most hyphens, wins.”
Trump told his advisors that he’d gotten the Nobel Prize when he was a kid, after he swiped a box of Crackerjacks from a girl in a wheelchair. He went on that he was surprised that the coveted award was shaped like a whistle. No one had the heart to tell him.
Trump asked his attorney and future jail bird Michael Cohen if the Swedish Academy could be bought off. The President offered to entice them by delivering as many hookers as they want. He promised that they can choose between hookers with or without bladder problems.
Trump winning the “Nobel Peace Prize” is as likely as finding Bigfoot, a unicorn or a Republican congressman who give a rat’s ass about anyone but the wealthy. Still, Trump always the optimist, is expecting to win his second “Nobel Prize.”