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Category: Special Report

DEAD INSIDE

DEAD INSIDE

In the interest of full disclosure, let me state that Stephen Ross and I both graduated from Miami Beach Senior High School. We were years apart,  I’ve never met him, and even though I was fortunate in my career, he is a billionaire and I am still five dollars short of that, so we don’t travel in the same circles.

As for my five dollar shortfall, I’ll discuss my Go Fund Me page in a later post.

Last weekend, Ross held a lavish fundraiser for Donald Trump to help extend Fearless Leader’s reign of terror for an additional four years.

It would be easy to write Ross off as just a cold and heartless billionaire, except for the fact that his Stephen A. Ross Foundation has given hundreds of millions of dollars to organizations that deal with researching junior diabetes, fighting climate change and improving urban areas. This would seem to indicate that his heart’s in the right place.

So why is Ross trying to help re-elect a man who has no ethics or morals and who is so dead inside that he stole from his own charity and used the money to have portraits of himself painted?

Ross says he disagrees with Trump on many issues but likes his approach to the economy. Ross’s position is the clearest example I’ve ever seen of just what the Republican Party is about. Money over people, money over all else. I believe that Ross cares about people, but not nearly as much as he cares about his money.

So how does a man who is almost eighty and worth over seven billion dollars reconcile his charitable side with his venality? How at this point does he not get that he should be placing people’s lives and the quality of those lives and the interests of this planet ahead of acquiring more wealth?

So Mr. Ross, just how rich do you need to die?

theleftwinggazette.com

N.R.A.

N.R.A.

The Left Wing Gazette, through its commitment to the honest reporting of the news, was able to secure an interview with a N.R.A. executive.

We wanted to interview him in our offices, but he insisted that we meet at an abattoir.

When we sat down, I asked, “Would you like to use the restroom?”

NRA guy: No. Why?

LWGazette: So you can wash the blood off your hands.

NRA guy: I’m good. First off, I want to state that I am very proud to be an N.R.A. member.

LWG: If you’re so proud, then why are you wearing a bag over your head?

NRA: Does it bother you?

LWG: No. It’s lovely. Have you ever considered switching to a plastic one?

NRA: What?

LWG: Let’s move on. Are you aware that many N.R.A. members support background checks and banning assault weapons?

NRA: That’s just liberal fake news. Our fake news is much better. More lies per paragraph than Joseph Goebbels could ever dream of.

LWG: Talk to us about your organization’s political domination of Washington.

NRA: Well, everyone knows that the Republican Party is a wholly owned subsidiary of the N.R.A.

LWG: So, you admit that Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell belong to you?

NRA: Well, we own Trump and McConnell jointly with Vladimir Putin… Now there’s a leader who knows how to appreciate a high fatality event.

LWG: When one of these “high fatality events” occurs, you always blame other groups.

NRA: Yes, we have lots of nationalities and religions we can trash. It’s one of the perks of being a bigot. I could send you a starter kit if you like.

LWG: Pass. How do feel about Trump’s pronouncement after last weekend’s massacres that “Hate has no place in our country?”

NRA: Great lip service.

LWG: Are you aware that the majority of Americans also feel there is too much hate in our country.

NRA: I don’t see it.

LWG: Have you looked in the Oval Office?

theleftwinggazette.com

 

NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY

NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY

Donald Trump, in his quest to put as many unqualified people with venom in their hearts in top government jobs, has nominated Texas Congressman John Ratcliffe to be the next head of America’s National Intelligence Agencies.

Trump and Ratcliffe spoke after the congressman attacked Robert Mueller during last week’s hearing. Our Commander in Chief was truly impressed with Ratcliffe’s ability to attack Mueller while simultaneously sticking his tongue up Trump’s ass from the hearing room.

The congressman’s tongue had to take a number and wait when it got there because Mitch McConnell, Kellyanne Conway and Steve Mnuchin’s tongues were in line ahead of his.

Trump thanked his newest sycophant and went on to compliment Ratcliffe’s character for having accomplished very little in his life, but having no problem doing a hatchet job on Mueller, a Marine who risked his life for this country and was awarded seven medals including the Purple Heart and Bronze Star.

Trump said he loved watching Ratcliffe tear into Mueller and then began to muse wistfully… “It’s those really hateful moments in life that we remember so fondly.”

After a moment, Trump told Ratcliffe,  “There are two questions you have to answer in order to get the nomination…. Do you have any problem helping me further sell out our country to Russia?”

Ratcliffe: None.

Trump: Excellent… and this next one’s the biggy… do you ever find yourself caring about other people? Wanting to help them out?

Ratcliffe: I’m a right-wing radical from a wealthy Texas town, so… almost never.

Trump: Well, John, I’m the right guy to get you to “never.” A few months around me and you won’t even care about your own mother.

Ratcliffe: My mother passed away.

Trump: Hmm…  You know, I think my mother might be dead too. I’ll make a call.

Before the dumbfounded Ratcliffe could answer, Trump stood, shook his hand and said, “Welcome to the  Trump Swamp 2.0.”

theleftwinggazette.com