THE DONALD TRUMP HOUR
Mike Pence: Welcome to “The Donald Trump Hour,” where decency comes to die. Among Donald’s guests tonight are three morons who won’t wear masks, but will show us the creative ways they use to stick their heads up their asses.
Now, without further ado, let’s welcome the world’s most beloved ramp-waddler, a man with less of a grasp on reality than the entire ward in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” hereee’s Donny.
TRUMP: Thanks, Mike. Now we have a great show for you tonight. My guests include the Governor of Texas, who will show us that you don’t need to be ambulatory to be an idiot. We also have my favorite doctor, Anthony Fauci, who will try and talk to us while bound, gagged and submerged in water. And as a special treat, we have my favorite boy-band, “Kids in Cages.”
Now I see that tonight’s audience is made up of Nazis and two of my favorite white supremacists, Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas… Can you feel the hate?
TRUMP: To get off on the right foot, everyone move closer together and cough on each other. (They Did) Excellent. Especially you, sir. The phlegm was a nice touch.
We’re going to take a commercial now from my favorite sponsor, Hydroxychloroquine P.M… Be sure to come back and see me use Mike Pence to demonstrate just exactly how Vladimir Putin bends me over a desk.