It would appear that Donald Trump’s Presidency is unraveling, much like his mind. Even knowing that the gutless Senate will not remove him, his paranoia over the impeachment hearings grows daily.
To allay his anxiety he’s been demanding loyalty tests from everyone remaining in his toxic radius. Many of his billionaire swamp dwellers have pleased their idol by reaffirming their pledge to steal only from working people and the poor.
He also demanded each follower pledge one million dollars to his re-election campaign as he needs money not only for that, but to buy more buses to throw people under.
The donors opened their pockets immediately. To reward them, Trump, tweeting from the White House’s Nixon bunker, is allowing them to attend a Republican Leadership Meeting in March that will take place on Fantasy Island. “The crooks boss, the crooks.”
Once they arrive and are strip-searched to confirm they have no ethics or morals, they will attend an “intimate and lavish” dinner with Mike Pence and his wife whether they want to or not. The attendees will also be offered their choice of a roasted or stir-fried minority.
Trump has promised his billionaires a sumptuous, gold-flecked seven-layer cake for dessert. Considering his record for telling the truth, the cake is expected to have three or four layers tops. He has asked that half of it be saved for him because he’s worried about all the weight he’s been losing.
If you’re just a poor millionaire and can only afford a hundred-thousand dollars, you can buy your way into the Welcome Reception. You will also be treated to a special concert, featuring Scott Baio singing Pat Boone’s greatest hits. Earplugs will be furnished for no extra charge.
Trump has told his advisors that he plans to moon poor donors who only have ten thousand dollars or less to give.
He recently mooned Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff. They discussed his behavior at length, but couldn’t decide if he was using his face or his ass.