PROFILE IN COURAGE
A forty-seven page indictment was handed down last week accusing California Congressman Duncan Hunter and his wife of misappropriating campaign funds. Hunter was the second Republican Congressman to be indicted this month.
Learning that the Hunters had stolen two-hundred-fifty–thousand dollars over seven years, Donald Trump stopped tweeting a lot of misspelled words and became furious, stating, “No self-respecting Republican with that much time to do it would steal so little money. He’s a disgrace. Now Paul Manafort, that’s a crook our party can be proud of.”
Hunter, a former Marine, acted like anything but one when he blamed his spouse, Margaret, for stealing the campaign funds. He tried to underscore his point by adding, “My wife also ate my homework.”
Hunter represents a district in San Diego that is redder then a baboon’s ass. Also representing an equally baboon assed district of California is practicing fascist, Congressman Dana Rohrabacher. A longtime friend of the Hunters, Rohrabacher raced to their defense, saying, “Duncan’s a good man and so is his wife.”
Hunter appeared to be squeaky-clean to his constituents, but was known in Washington for his partying and frequenting bars where he’d become abusive and pick fights. Sometime with other patrons, sometimes with coat racks.
It got so bad that in 2016, John Boehner called him in and told him to “Cut the crap.”
Hunter didn’t. The excessive drinking continued as did his stealing of campaign funds. One charge in the indictment states that some of that money was used to buy a plane ticket for his service dog. This ended in tragedy when he and his wife were seated across the aisle from a man traveling with his service crocodile.
Hunter recently joined all other Republican Congressmen who’ve developed back trouble and hired the Joe Friday Detective Agency to locate their spines. Unfortunately the detectives have yet to turn up any spines, but while searching in hell they did come across the Congressmen’s souls.