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Donald Trump and his administration’s highest ranking grinning idiot, Kellyanne Conway, flew to Moorefield, West Virginia, where hundreds of his diehard supporters had been bused in to prop up the President’s ego, which has all the strength of phyllo-dough.

His voters were in a great mood having been given a can of stir- fried road kill upon arrival.

There was thunderous applause when the President took the stage. His supporters were so excited and turned on that they actually hugged and kissed other people’s cousins.

Trump surveyed his devotees and said, “Don’t worry. I promise that someday West Virginia will have a dentist.”

The President launched into his list of accomplishment, a Supreme Court Justice who is a “brilliant fourteenth-century thinker.” That puts Justice Gorsuch about two hundred years ahead of Clarence Thomas.

When Trump threw the meeting open to questions, a sea of hands, some with five fingers on them, shot up. He pointed and said, “You, in the second row, the woman with the multi-colored nose hair.”

The woman rose and asked, “President Trump, would you come down here and pray with us?”

Trump: Gee, I prayed on Air Force One coming here, and my Surgeon General, Marcus Welby, told me that overpraying causes chronic stupidity.

The woman responded, “Are you sure, sir?”

Trump: Haven’t you ever seen Mike Pence?

Another woman stood and told the President, “I’m here with my two daughters, Chloe and Jack. They didn’t want to come, but I promised them they could watch you and Kellyanne Conway have sex.

Trump: Why would you do that?

The woman responded, “Because the girls are tired of watching our entire town do me.”

Trump: What do you say, Kellyanne?

Kellyanne: I’m sorry ma’am, but I’ve sworn off men until four this afternoon. And then I’m overbooked.

Chloe and Jack reached for their M9s until Kellyanne told them, “If you want to see me and the President doing it, there will be CDs available in the lobby. Some of them include Sarah Huckabee even though it looks like we’re doing it with a Gorilla.

Trump: It’s not a gorilla?

 

Ken Hecht

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