Donald Trump’s total lack of empathy and never-ending cruelty is causing such anxiety and fear among Americans that more and more people are being forced to seek psychiatric help if they’re unable to obtain illegal drugs.
We went along with one such citizen, Ms. Carol Peterson, to see noted psychiatrist Dr. Harvey Slavin. Slavin’s license was returned last year when his jail sentence was cut short due to both his improving personal hygiene and the fact that orange made him look fat.
He greeted Ms. Peterson and asked her why she’d come to see him. She responded quickly.
Carol: I hate Donald Trump.
Slavin: Take a number.
Carol: You know… I’d like to go to one of his vanity rallies and call him out on his lies.
Slavin: You’d be hoarse within three minutes.
Carol: I’d still go.
Slavin: Do you drool before each meal?
Slavin: Sister, you don’t have a shot in hell of getting in.
Carol: There just has to be something wrong with him… Maybe he’s bipolar.
Slavin: No, if you’re bipolar, you have rapid mood swings that change your personality back and forth. Trump’s moods only range from moron to bigger moron to best moron.
Carol: He’s turned me into a nervous wreck.
Slavin: Are you able to sleep at night?
Carol: Sometimes, but I have horrible dreams.
Slavin: Can you share one with me?
Carol: Well, I keep having this one where Trump wakes up in bed with the head of a whore next to him.
Slavin: Are you sure that’s not the head of a horse?
Carol: No, it’s a whore. She has a coin changer.
Slavin: Could we take a minute and discuss what your sex life is like
Carol: Sure… It’s very active.
Slavin: Is it?
Carol: Yes, I get fuc**d by Donald Trump every day.
Slavin: That’s happening to almost everyone.
Slavin: You’d be surprised how many of my male patients can’t sit down.