After the G20 ended, Donald Trump was able to sneak back into America through the Canadian border disguised as Dudley Do-Right.
Just as he’s never added anything of value to the world, he also added nothing of value to the summit, but he did enjoy partaking in the meeting’s social events. He especially loved the belly dancing competition, which he appeared to be winning until he thrust his belly outwards, killing the Prime Minister of Italy’s grandchildren.
The most controversial thing to happen at the international confab, other than Vladimir Putin eating Trump’s lunch every day, was having his daughter sit in for him at a meeting for the heads of the G20 nations.
Ivanka sat next to Britain’s Prime Minister Theresa May and two seats down from Putin, who paid her notice because he was on his Tablet, hacking into the kitchen and putting borscht on the menu.
May was most kind to Ivanka, telling her, “It’s wonderful having you here instead of your father. I can finally uncross my legs. Tell me dear, was he dropped on his head repeatedly when he was a baby?”
Ivanka: Probably, but my dad’s a really good guy. Very sensitive and considerate.
May: Well, I don’t think anyone’s ever seen that side of him.
Ivanka: I have. Do you know that when we dated, he always brought me roses? Except when I was younger and then he’d always bring me something from the Fischer-Price catalogue.
After the controversy erupted the President defended Ivanka, telling Fox News that his daughter belonged at the meeting and how proud of her he’s been since day one. He swelled with pride and added, “I was especially proud of her the day she won the Kentucky Derby.”
Later in the day, Ivanka again talked about wonderful her father was, telling reporters, “Daddy’s the best. He just re-did his will and he’s leaving me the Presidency of the United States.”