Constant talk of impeachment now has Donald Trump really stressed. He told aides that he felt the walls were closing in on him, but they allayed his fears when they informed him that he’s gained so much weight that actually, he’s closing in on the walls.
His aides brought in psychiatrist Dr. Harvey Slavin, who, while still on a work-release program for sleeping with his patients with poor vision, is considered to be an occasionally adequate psychiatrist.
Dr. Slavin: How are you feeling today, Mr. Trump?
Trump: Furious. Lindsey Graham is betraying me.
Slavin: How so?
Trump: He promised me that he’d buried his morals and ethics with John McCain, but now he’s gotten all pissy about me deserting the Kurds.
Slavin: Can I ask why did you turn on our allies and make it easy for Turkey to slaughter them?
Trump: Because I don’t have a hotel in Kurdland, but I have a big one in Istanboool.
Slavin: Sir, doesn’t it bother you that because of these kinds of actions millions of American’s think you’re an imbecile and totally full of shit?
Trump: Fake news.
Slavin: Of course it is… Can you share your feelings about millions of Americans wanting to see you in handcuffs?
Trump: More fake news. Handcuffs? Ridiculous. Hey, want to see a picture of Ivanka in handcuffs?
Slavin: You really have a pic-?
Trump: Here, she’s in a bikini I picked out for her.
Slavin, suddenly needing a shower, pushed on.
Slavin: Let’s leave the gutter for a second Sir. Do you have any anxiety over losing next year’s election?
Trump: I can’t lose. Not with all my support in places like Rotted Gums, Missouri, Open Sores, Kentucky and Alabama’s Nazi Mountain Theme Park.
Slavin: Thank God for inbreeding, huh?
Trump: You can say that again.