‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,

Donald Trump he was stirring because he’s a big louse,

The stockings were hung with greatest of care,

Filled with the scalps of his hires and that only seemed fair,

His children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of swindles danced in their heads,

I in my crown had just settled in bed,

When out on the lawn arose such a clatter,

I sprung from my bed and fell on my ass,

A tsunami it caused in peaceful Jakarta,

And to make things much worse, I made a big farta,

Away to the window I waddled so slow,

When what to my wandering eyes did appear,

A bright red sleigh with eight big reindeer,

And a bearded old Santa so live and so quick,

I took away his insurance because I am a pri*k,

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name,

Now! Dasher, Now! Prancer, Now! Comet and Blitzen, Bob Muller’s so close you should be a-schvitzen,

He gave me a lump of clean coal and said it was mine,

Then he told me to stick it where sun it don’t shine,

When he gathered his reindeer and mounted his sleigh,

He called out to me as he flipped me the bird,

“Merry shutdown to you, you big ugly turd.


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